Grab It If You Want It
by its-never-lupus
Summary: This is what the very stupid write when tjey're very bored over spring break, and there's nothing else to do. Please review!


A/N: Ummm…Sputchy is one of my fav pairings, so, yeah. I got the idea sitting in my 7th period Oral Comm class, sitting and staring off into space. Hey, it's the end of the day, and we had a sub. So shoot me. Read on for gratuitous sex, unnecessary pop culture references, and whatever else I feel like throwing in! ;-)

(BTW, the third-person omnipotent narrator has a bit of a sarcasm problem. Just so you know…LOL!)

"I got everything under control."

"Your kitchen's on fire."

Gone In 60 Seconds

"I swear to God, Specs, I'm going to KILL you if you don't SHUT UP!" David "Dutchy" Dudnysky shouted. His best friend, Mark "Specs" David had been singing the "Manamanaw" song off the Dr. Pepper commercials, and making up little dances, for the past hour.

Specs pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, and grinned at Dutchy.

"You know you love me, Dutch."

"Ha! That's what you think."  
Cue the big puppy-dog eyes from Specs.

"I'm just kidding, Specs."

"Uh-huh. So you say."

Dutchy smacked him lightly on the shoulder. "You're such a _putz_."  
"Since when are you Jewish?"

"I'm one-fourth Jewish!"

"Right. The Scandinavian features were the dead giveaway."

"Shut up," Dutchy said, throwing the book he'd been trying to read for English at Spec's head.

"Ah, how…appropriate" Specs drawled, picking up the book. "'The Chosen' by Chiam Potok. Are you enjoying it?"

"Not really. Jews in WWII Brooklyn don't interest me a whole lot."

"Apikorsim."

"Not funny, Specs."  
"What! Wouldn't being flamingly homosexual sort of be breaking God's laws!"

"I hate you."

Specs chuckled, and went back to doing his pre-calc homework.

Barely five minutes had passed before Dutchy said, "Wait a minute, you hypocrite! You can't be homosexual and a Lutheran, either!"

"I was wondering how long it'd take you to figure that out," Specs said, smirking.

"I'm hungry. Is there anything to eat?" Dutchy asked, tapping his foot to some unheard rhythm.

"Yeah, I told my mom you were coming over. So she went out and got those little pizza bagels and rolls. Pepperoni, just like you like 'em."

Dutchy's bright blue eyes lit up, which Specs, strangely enough, found sexy.

"FOOD!" he shouted, running toward the kitchen, and managing to slice his arm on one of the sculptures Specs' mom had placed around the house.

"Oooooooooooooowww! Fuck fuck fuck! Specs, what's up with your mom's demented obsession with modern art!" he said, pulling off his T-shirt to get a look at his freely bleeding shoulder.

Specs drew in a breath. He knew Dutchy worked out…he just never knew how buff he was!

'Come on, man!' he chided himself. 'Get it together!'

"Hello, Specs! I'm losing copious amounts of blood here. Staring at it is not going to help! Hello!"

Specs blinked twice, shook his head, and said, "Umm…yeah. There's bandages and stuff in the kitchen. Dude, that's pretty deep. It doesn't look so good…come on."

So the two of them headed off to the kitchen, where they bandaged up Dutchy's arm.

Then they proceeded to have hot sweaty sex.

Ha! Fooled you! You have to wait for that…

"You owe me food now," Dutchy said, poking his shoulder repeatedly with his finger. "It hurts." He pulled a pouty face, and made his eyes look big.

"Maybe if you stopped poking it!" Specs said, pulling Dutchy's hand away. "That just makes it worse."

Dutchy noticed that Specs hadn't moved his hand from his wrist, even though he wasn't poking his wound anymore.

Not that he wanted him to…

But then, much to his disappointment, Specs released his wrist and went back to making the pizza rolls. Watching him in the kitchen was like watching a really sexy anti-Martha Stewart figure. Dutchy felt lust shoot through him, and his predominant thought was: Pin Specs against the oven and…well, blow his mind, for lack of a better description. Because Specs was, after all, a virgin.

Gotta love hot, horny, gay teenage boys!

But back to our protagonists. Once the pizza rolls were done, Specs put some on a plate for each of them, then they sat down in front of the T.V. Dutchy turned on MTV, and, as luck would have it, the video for "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera was on.

Well? You know where this is going. The next scene that flashed on was one of the two guys making out on a bench. Dutchy watched, amused, as Specs turned six shades of red and started to reach for the remote.

'This is my chance' he thought. 'I gotta grab it if I want it.'

He shot out his hand and closed it over Specs'. Specs drew in a sharp breath and looked over at him.

"I like this song" was all he said. "Eat your pizza rolls, Mark."

Specs' mind was racing. He'd never had a very organized thought process, but now, just because Dutchy was holding his hand, he was having trouble thinking at all.

'Come ON, man!' he told himself again. 'Pull it together!'

But it was just so much nicer to think about how warm Dutchy's hand was, how his long, thin fingers could play the B-flat concert scale on his trumpet in four seconds flat-and what else they could possibly do. So he let the T.V. be. Once the video was finished, and 'Down With The Sickness' came on, the mood kind of went flat. Dutchy popped his last roll in his mouth, then licked the sauce off his fingers one by one, sneaking glances at Specs every now and again.

'Bastard' Specs thought. 'He knows exactly what he's doing! And it's working' he added.

"Come on, dude" Dutchy said suddenly. "Dish time. Your mom about blew a gasket when I was over here last time."

"That's because she thought you were groping me, no because you left your dishes on the table!" Specs said, turning another eight shades of red.

"Yeah, I remember that. We had some fun in that closet, eh?" Dutchy said, reminiscing.

"Very funny. A gay joke. I was 16 years old and you were feeling me up!"

Dutchy's eyes lost their misty look and turned piercing again.

"As I recall, Marcus" he said, using his best friend's full first name, his tone icy. "You seemed to enjoy it just as much, if not more, than I did. Don't bother denying it-we were both there."  
Specs turned, if possible, redder. Because Dutchy was right on the money. He mumbled something indistinguishable and trudged off to the kitchen. Once he was gone, Dutchy, who recognized the look of defeat in Specs' eyes, proceeded to do a silent victory dance, complete with air punches.

Then he planned his next move.

Specs stood in the kitchen, washing off the plates. He wanted to jump Dutchy's bones, but he'd never been a particularly bold person.

'But I gotta grab it if I want it, I guess' he thought. (A/N: Hmmm…recurring theme! My English teachers would be so PROUD!)

But before he could even move, the sounds of 'Malchik Gay' came from the living room, with Dutchy's off-key voice singing along. Specs could never stand Dutchy singing for more than five minutes, and he went into the living room to investigate. He wanted to say, "Shut your trap, you putz! For Pete's sake, you're singing a song by lesbians! Have some gay pride!"

But the words died on his lips-once he saw what Dutchy was wearing.

Tight, tight, tight black pants-think on the verge of being painted on. He was also gyrating his hips and doing lots of pelvic thrusts.

Specs felt his jaw drop. It was, quite possibly, the hottest thing he'd ever seen.

"Where-where'd you get those pants?" he asked, ignoring the fact that his voice had just risen three octaves.

"Out of my backpack" Dutchy replied. "You like?" He turned around and shook his ass a few times.

"Ummm…yeah, actually, I do" Specs said, swallowing hard.

Dutchy danced over to him and grabbed his hand. "Come on, man! Loosen up! The sexual tension between the two of us is driving me CRAZY! You want me, I want you, right? Let's dance!"

'Wow' Dutchy thought. 'I can't believe I just said that. Go me!' He grabbed Specs and led him out to the middle of the living room. "Come on. And-lose the shirt." Specs mutely complied. "Now, come on. Let's dance. You ever dance with a guy in leather pants before?"

"I-I-I've never danced with a guy before, period" Specs said, his voice quivering slightly.

"Ah…we got ourselves a virgin, huh?"

"Ya know, you were doing great with the whole 'put-him-at-ease' thing, right up until that comment."

Dutchy smiled then, a dazzling smile. "There's the Specs fire I know and love. We just need to draw it out some more."

Specs smiled self-consciously, and relaxed a little more. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize. It's one of the many things I find sexy about you. That, your eyes, your ass, and your brain."

Specs raised an eyebrow. "Really."

"Really."

"In that order?"

"In that order."

Specs laughed. He was feeling more and more at ease all the time, and more and more horny as well. (A/N: This is getting good…The mental image I'm getting is very HAWT!)

'Malchik Gay' ended, and 'This I Promise You' came on. Specs raised an eyebrow again.

"Hey, don't look at me like that! And don't act like you never liked NSync. Don't you have all their CD's?"

"Now you're changing the subject."

"Oh, shut up."

"Or what? Ya gonna-"

He was cut off suddenly, because Dutchy's lips were on his in the next instant.

And it's kind of hard to talk when there's a hot guy's tongue in your mouth.

Once the kiss ended (only because they were running out of breath), Dutchy looked at him and said, "Well, at least we aren't in the fucking closet anymore."

"True. And I have to say, I like being out of the closet much more."

"I thought you might. Now shut up and kiss me again."

Specs was more than happy to comply.

After they had been making out for about 20 minutes, they made their way up to Specs' bedroom. After all, during those 20 minutes, their hands had been roaming everywhere, and pretty much all that was left was…well, it doesn't take a genius to figure that out.

(A/N: Now, to go into any more detail would make this story warrant an NC-17 rating…Suffice to say they had a lot of hot, sweaty, steamy sex. Complete with lots of grabbing because they both wanted it.)

People say that the afterglow of sex is sometimes better than the main event. Well now, both of them knew for a fact that wasn't true.

"Hey dude" Dutchy said. "For an inexperienced virgin, you sure like to be on top."

Specs blushed. "If we ever break up, please shoot me" he said, sweeping Dutchy's hair out of his face.

"Oh, are we going out now?" Dutchy asked, feigning surprise.

Specs just raised an eyebrow at him.

"I guess we are."

"Smart man. Sexy man, too."

"Damn straight."

"Don't you mean, 'Damn gay'? Being straight is no fun."

"Hmmm…you may have a point. Well, don't love me for my brain. I can be the eye candy, you can be the brains."

Specs didn't respond for a moment. Then, all of a sudden, he pounced. They wrestled for a moment, but Specs was about 5 inches taller, and so he ended up on top. He propped himself up on an elbow and smirked down at Dutchy.

"Point for the brain."

"Oh-ho, NOW you're gonna get it!"

"You gotta grab me if ya want me! So…come catch me!"

And believe you me, he did.

END

A/N: And they lived happily ever after, till the end of their days. So…what did y'all think? I really want some feedback, was the plot choppy, were the characters well-rounded, etc. Other than that…please review!

Straight!Dutchy: Yeah, because she busted her butt till 1:30 in the morning, and she STILL didn't finish typing this.

ME: Thanks, Dutch. Now they all think I'm a lazy ass.

Asshole!Race: Ya mean they didn't already?

Dutchy: ((tries to growl menacingly))

Race: Oh, I'm so scared.

Queens newsies: Oh, you should be. ((rush Asshole!Race and beat him to death with the _World_))

ME: While we sort this out…please review!

Ú Review Ú


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